“We learned about the human body today.” Declan is proud. It’s one of the few days he hasn’t said, “Nothing” when I ask him what he did at school. School children do a whole lot of “nothing” when you ask them. It’s probably why we need to give so many standardized tests, so we can measure the…
How DanTDM Stole My Kid’s Soul…And Your Kid’s Next
Do you know who DanTDM is? If not, you should. And you’re old. If you have a little boy or gamer girl, DanTDM may well be stealing your child’s soul. Kids don’t watch much TV nowadays. Things are shifting to the Internet. This is a challenge for the no-screen family or heavy censorship Mom. In the end, we lose…
How an Elementary Teacher Saved Mother’s Day for an Undeserving Parent
I got a Mother’s Day e-card. It was Stewie from Family Guy. “Mommy, mommy, mom, Lois mom, mom…I hope you get some peace, though it’s probably impossible.” Peace and Mother’s Day are diametrically opposed. I let Declan stay up good and late the night before so he’d sleep in and let me write for Mother’s Day. He slept…
Bad Mom Series: Do the Right Thing & Be Defeated Like a Zombie
I’m in the sneaker aisle. I’m a bad mom. I let the boy play in puddles and now he has no shoes for school. “You really should get him a second pair of shoes.” I know. I hate shopping. I go into the store, I get stressed about the choices, how much I hate fashion, and leave….
Risk and Resurrection: Stories of Spring
I told Declan the story of the Passover the other night. Too many people separate Judaism and Christianity. I imagine being a Jew in the time of Jesus–Romans, poverty, political turmoil. Being a Jew in the time of Jesus was sort of like being a colonist during the Revolutionary War. If I were a Jew, I probably would’ve stayed a…
Why We Wrote about Dinos instead of Education for April Fool’s
Our first book is live. It’s about a little dinosaur who annoys his mom. I wrote the words, and the brilliant Sarah Steenland drew all the pictures. I’m late in releasing the education book I’ve been working on forever. That’s because the education book was a lot of pages. Kids books are way shorter, so we’re not late in releasing…
A 7 Year Old’s Guide to Facebook
“Hey, Mom!” said Declan. “I can post to Facebook and I don’t even have one.” I wasn’t listening. There are two categories of things that come out of kid’s mouths–things to ignore, and things we should notice. This was from the second category. The radar was alerting, the red flags waving. We were sitting together. Me, writing and drinking coffee. He was…
Mysteries of the Universe
“Why do fancy ladies hate farms?” Declan asked. He woke up with this earth-shattering question on his mind. “I don’t know,” I said. “Seriously, Mom. Maybe they hate farms because they dress so nice and farms are dirty?” He insinuates I’m not a fancy lady. “Probably. They need to understand farms are cool. They’re where our food…
Getting Rich by Age 7
“You know what today is?” I asked the boy. I was sitting at the computer. Declan looked over my shoulder. “What?” he asked. “Payday. That’s the day I give away all my money and pay the bills.” “Don’t give away your money, Mom!” I told him I enjoyed paying bills. Paying bills a blessing. It means we have what we need. I’ve always…
The Morning After
Christmas is over. I’ve spent weeks shopping, preparing, budgeting, cutting, slicing, roasting, entertaining, arguing, taping, and wrapping. Every bow has been removed, the egg nog has been drunk by the morning after. I want to rest. But now, it’s the season of instructions. “Mom, let’s play this!” “Mom, I want to do this game.” “Mom, make this with me!” Crafts, toys,…