This is my original blog. I haven’t updated for years. I keep it as a reminder of the journey.
Please see Broke Teacher for education and Poser Homestead for chickens, recipes, and dead zucchini.
Good Karma Report: Teens Give a Tired Mom a Slice of Heaven
Summer recreation. It's a gift from God to all parents who work twenty-five hours a day. It's eighty dollars for the whole summer. I'm in love. Declan's been talking about summer camp for days, but yesterday was the first day. We packed his lunch and sped away to the...
When to Hit Your Kid with a Bat
Declan's chasing me with a stick. "Don't chase me with a stick," I say. I know someone whose eye was poked out. Sticks are dangerous. "I'm not chasing you. The zombie's chasing you." "Zombies go slow." Plants vs. Zombies is Declan's obsession--a game where plants...
The Bad Mom’s Guide to Laundry: How YOU Can Minimize Washing and Save the Environment
I usually dedicate one weekend day to laundry. That night becomes "too tired to fold laundry night." Sometimes I skip a week because I don't see nearly enough full laundry baskets hanging around the house, but when they're overflowing and drawers are empty, I know...
How Lemonade Redeemed The Worst Mom in the World
"I'm sorry I missed your show." I'd broken it to him gently--I couldn't go. "Nobody came. I almost cried a little because I wanted you to be there." I missed the first grade show. They memorized three pages of lines and made character hats for costumes. Declan was a...
Summer? What Summer? (You Shouldn’t Be Jealous of Teachers)
I look at my alarm, which did not go off. I get up. I make coffee. I sit down. I'm up early, same as usual. There is one difference. It is the first Monday of summer. No school today. No classes to teach. It's even better because The Boy still has school for four more...
Did I Ruin Your Student’s Life Today?
"If you'll excuse me, I have to go home and make up some grades." I worshiped the teacher having coffee with me. Jesus sat to her one side while the devil rested at mine. She was perfect--inspiring, funny, organized. I wished I could be her. "What?" "Oh, everyone...
We Did “Nothing.” Tale of an American Schoolboy
"What happened at school today?" I ask. He throws his backpack and races the bus to the tree at the end of the yard. It's as far as he's allowed to go. "Nothing." "Again?" I say. "Nothing ever happens. No gym? Music? Art? Library?" "Nope. We had the last day of...
Graduation Doesn’t Begin Life. You Do.
You know who you are, roaming the halls with caps and gowns in ripped-open plastic, interrupting classes I'm teaching the next two weeks. "I'm not sure how you get out half a month earlier than everyone else," I tell you while you're walking around the school. It's a...
On Butt Cracks and Being a Bad Person
Her underwear were tucked into her nylons, the entire right side of her rear end flashing at least fifty-percent of the room. I'd never seen anything like it in real life. The only thing missing was a stream of toilet paper on the shoe. I wanted to get up and say...
D-Day. “D” is for Declan.
It's 5:20. I slept in. Coffee's ready. Time for writing. Step,step,step,step,step... "Hi, Mom!" This is Mom Time. Not Mom-Declan time, even though it's his birthday. "You can't be up now! It's too early." He tells me he's an early bird. Tonight, he'll tell me he's a...
And Then They Disappear…
"The only thing that matters is getting @runningdmc to sign my yearbook." It's a tweet I'll save. An honor to be considered so highly that students come by and say thanks. This time of year is a beehive. Seniors roaming the halls, caps, gowns, tassels in the air. Some...
Half-truths and Illusions
"Mommy, can you massage my back?" I do. "Can you massage my feet?" I do. It's right before bed. I'm trying to get my little boy to stop jumping like a pogo stick. The sheets have long come off and I'm not putting them back on. "Ahhhh, it's good to have a servant."...