A sad, sad story from my pathetic fashion life… “May I help you?” asked the saleswoman. “Yes. Yes, you can.” I said. “I ate too much recently and gained a pants size, maybe more, and none of my clothes fit. I got new jeans but I forgot about school clothes…” I had to get sympathy from her because my coworkers told…
My Kid Can Beat Your Kid at Everything!
I survived Parent Teacher Conference last night. As a parent, I go out of respect. I know the poor teacher has to be there, and she’s amazing. As a teacher, I’m sad dragging parents across six towns to wait in line for ten minutes with me. They worked a long day. I’d rather have coffee and actually talk. At…
I’m Not the Jesus of Education
I stand in front of my students. I say, “Listen, it’s your decision. Research it, make the call.” Blank stares. Pause. More blank stares. I explain. “I’m not the Jesus of education…I’m just a nerd. You need to interpret things the way you want.” I give examples using facts, figures, case studies… “How will I know I’m…
Why I Can’t Teach Elementary School
I can’t discuss the day I had yesterday…not because I don’t want to…because of confidentiality. I never discuss things that can be pegged to individual students unless they are positive shout outs. It was a Class-A challenging day, filled with the crises I get from time to time teaching high school. It used to rattle me, but…
What to Do When You’re the Teacher Who Messes Up
He couldn’t spell “Einstein” or “magic.” I didn’t want to take the class. I needed it. It was one of those “You-Need-This-For-College” classes. I wondered why. I’m certainly not a working in that field today. He was often making mistakes on the board or misspelling something on a paper. He’d go back and correct himself after a…
What Would You LIKE to Learn?
I’m writing my “Welcome Letter” to students. It’s going to a blog post this year. I’m trying to save trees–it’s a pain in the ass to get more paper when I run out. I have to requisition paper just to make the forms to get the paper, and I can’t really afford a virtual assistant. So, digital,…
Wanted: One Teaching Job
Wanted. One teaching job. Setting negotiable, for a genius who hasn’t yet been hired. The candidate is certified in social studies, but social studies isn’t all you get with this candidate. He connects to any subject at the drop of a time, weaving in student interest. Students flock to him like he’s the Pied Piper. The candidate…
The Nightmare before Labor Day
It finally happened. I started dreaming about school. Vicki Davis, “Cool Cat Teacher,” wrote about this, stating when teachers dream about school, they’re almost always nightmares. I’ve had two nightmares this summer about school. Both involved changing institutions, not finding rooms, and getting schedules I’m not qualified to teach. In one dream, former colleagues stopped by to tell…
My Season of Obnoxious
Today’s Saturday. Dates and times are irrelevant to me for the next seven weeks until school starts. This is the time of year when you hate me. The time of year when I call you randomly, email you at all times, and disturb you at work. You get annoyed. “I’m working! Don’t you have something to do?”…
Pick Your Nose–We’re Out of Tissues
I’m out of tissues and hand sanitizer. Students are mad. I see this. “Miss, got any tissues?” I keep forgetting to bring in a new box–I have my stockpile on my homesteading shelf in my basement. Someone needs to text me at 5AM when I plan such things. “No, sorry.” Huff. Stomp. I share. I’m generous. But…