My book, Don’t Sniff the Glue: A Teacher’s Misadventures in Education Reform is live on Amazon. I priced the Kindle so even a teacher without classroom supplies could afford to read it for less than a cup of (brand named) coffee. The paperback’s 1.5 coffees. Still worth it.
So, the name of the game is to get a best-seller status on Amazon flag for just one day. They’ll give me the #1 Bestseller Flag and Oprah will see me and say, “I want to read that book!” My life will be complete.
Martha Stewart has already acknowledged me on Google+ over some zucchini recipes although she hasn’t yet invited me to Turkey Hill for dinner, and Rabbi Schmuley retweeted me once, so I’m not going to lie–life’s pretty good.
The only people left are the Dalai Lama and Oprah. I’d settle for His Holiness favoriting a Tweet in this life or the next, but if I got on Oprah’s List, I’d go straight to Nirvana.
Good news is… there’s space on The List. Look at the bottom row–it’s short two books. Clearly room for mine, and someone else’s book. I’ve got some cool author friends writing great books… one can go right there beside me. It’ll be like going to a party with a friend.
Or… it could be like being the person with the last pair of concert tickets where all your friends kiss up to you and you get the power to choose who goes.
And we’d be on Oprah’s list together.
Oprah never steers me wrong when I pick a book from her list. If I stalk her library, I end up a better human being. I think this list is old, though, because I read Cheryl Strayed’s book a while ago, and now there’s even a movie. Oprah needs to put me there to freshen things up a bit.
And I will say to everyone I meet, “You get a book! You get a book! You get a book!” It’s what I say to my students… one girl called me Oprah because I was giving out grades too liberally. “You get a 100! You get a 100! You get a 100.” I gave every kid a 100 for that project as long as they were working.
It was an experiment that worked. Turns out giving kids 100’s throws them for a real loop–they’re used to us nit picking, then they step on each other to get a higher grade. Being nice to kids is 10x worse for their psyche than being harsh. Try it. Give them a 100. They’ll never know what’s up. Best to keep kids guessing.
So, that’s how my students started associating me with Oprah, because I spent time showing them effort and results, not numbers, were what would make them succeed. “Miss, I know I didn’t have your class this week, but I was bored so I did this… ” A thirty-page story? Are you feeling okay? A business plan, are you insane?
Truth is, we all learn best when we’re motivated by the possibilities not the requirements. Sadly, the system forgets the human soul and goes for the jugular these days. I want students to come to school because they want to and because they feel the passion.
I think Oprah would like that I just said “human soul” and “passion.” Dr. Oz would like that I said “jugular.”
I know, better authors than me never made The Oprah List, so who am I to dream? Alas, Oprah would want me to dream, to imagine the possibilities, to tap my inner strength, and to be all I can be.
Dream I dare! Oprah List… here I come!
Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us–Oprah[Thanks again to everyone who made Don’t Sniff the Glue: A Teacher’s Misadventures in Education Reform possible. And of course to Oprah, just because.]