My Kid Can Beat Your Kid at Everything!

I survived Parent Teacher Conference last night. As a parent, I go out of respect. I know the poor teacher has to be there, and she’s amazing. As a teacher, I’m sad dragging parents across six towns to wait in line for ten minutes with me. They worked a...

The Science of Dog Biscuits

My kid eats dog biscuits. I don’t encourage this. I’ve given up. “It’s the only meat I eat, Mom, it’s good for me.” I can’t control it. He gets out of bed or sneaks around when I’m not looking, stealing them from the...

Sleeping with the (little) Devil

Somewhere in the middle of the night he comes to bed. Never quietly. Always in the same pattern, like a hurdler or high-jumper going for the record. Bounce, bounce, PLOP. Sometimes the plop lands over me successfully, gold medal achieved. Often it comes crashing down...

“Spank Me!”

“That’s the problem with kids today. You don’t have the authority to discipline them,” said one person who did not wish to be identified because (s)he will never be allowed to join the PTO and bake cookies again. “I’ve spanked my...

Changing My Name to “Hey, Mom”

“Hey, Mom, are you late?” He knows when to get up. He picks the precise moment that will disturb me the most. Not that I don’t love to cuddle, but it’s deliberate, and amazingly precise. How can a six-year old inflict such collateral damage on...