The Almighty is Too Busy for Your Problem

I've talked about this before. No one likes their own picture.  I have a zit, look a stain, why can’t I have one supermodel shot like my friends? I'm looking for one picture that makes me feel perfect. My sister-in-law took that picture years ago. It's my profile...

Things You Never Want to See: Porno Moth

"Mom, look. There's a moth with two heads!" Declan's staring at the moth on the side of the house. I look. Sure enough, there are two heads there. The thing is, they're not near each other, as one would expect in a hydra-moth, they're perfectly inverted. This isn't a...

Two Happy Buddhas and a Dead Rainforest

It's the last day of school--one of those pointless days that shouldn't be on school calendars except the legislators who say "It's not seat time that matters, it's quality of learning." Then, they mandate a 180-day school year. So, we end up with this useless...

Picking Grass, Smoking Weed: Horticulture for Kids

It's a beautiful afternoon. Our friends came to see our new chickens, and we delayed doing homework. We said goodbye and walked back toward the house. Declan picked a handful of tall grass. He put it in his mouth. "Don't put plants in your mouth" I said. "Vegetables...

Attention Authors! “Writing Is Your Midlife Crisis”

"How old are you, Miss?" "44." It's a fact, not an embarrassment, there's no reason to hide the number. Besides, any kid with a phone can Google me. "Forty-four?" she said. "I always thought you were in your 30's, but when I found out you wrote a book, I knew you were...