This is my original blog. I haven’t updated for years. I keep it as a reminder of the journey.
Please see Broke Teacher for education and Poser Homestead for chickens, recipes, and dead zucchini.
End of the Horror Movie
There's that point before the end of the horror movie when nearly everyone is dead. You know they're going to catch the bad guy, because why else spend fifty million dollars on a budget, blood and goring the whole set red? Most of the time at least one of the good...
Torture 101: Exam Day
This is the day all to which all teachers look forward. I am lording over my minions, watching them scribble on papers, staring down each question, regretting every day they left their brains outside the room. I've given "the speech." Talking equals certain doom....
How to Walk Your Demons
Every creative person has demons. Not just one, mind you. Usually a personal assistant or two with horns and a trident poking him in the keister. It took me a while to notice, but it's true. I had to travel way outside the ordinary into the depths of the...
June
They filter into the building. A steady stream of somber, peppered by an pattern of dress-code violations alternating with streams of text and music. I wish them good morning. They pack up hats and the headphones. It is June. Late June for school....
Look at These Eggs!!
Look at these eggs. I doubled back, putting the five dollars in the envelope in the cooler that said "Fresh Eggs." I took the last two dozen. Quite a bargain, I think. The cooler had done its job. It could rest quietly in front of its farm. I pass this farm when I run...
Pick Your Nose–We’re Out of Tissues
I'm out of tissues and hand sanitizer. Students are mad. I see this. "Miss, got any tissues?" I keep forgetting to bring in a new box--I have my stockpile on my homesteading shelf in my basement. Someone needs to text me at 5AM when I plan such things. "No, sorry."...
Put the Glass Down
It's been a busy year. I got a message from my friend, Andy--a story. Sometimes someone sends you a story that is just the right message at the right time. This is one of those stories. A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an...
“Have A Nice Summer UltraGorgon”
They called me Ultragorgon. Gorgons, I knew, were not so attractive. Ultragorgons must be worse. We were the smart class. We could create compound insults. It was sixth grade. We had studied Greek mythology. Medusa, Zeus, the Sirens. "Have a nice summer,...
Stupid Human Tricks
It must've mattered somehow. I don't remember the exact reason I needed to leap the old, rickety desk to make my point clear, but leap I did. As I bounded over the crumbling seat, which had seen better days in the 70s, the arm flipped. So did I. I landed in what may...
How a Rhombus Ruined my Relaxation
"Mom!" I can see we're going to have the nightly bed struggle. I just sat down, fantasizing about relaxation. "I put you to bed, get back there." "But I made you a rhombus," said Declan, extending a white rhombus of paper. Oh, in that case, stay up all night. If I'd...
Who’s Bringing the Ramen: Finding Your Roommate on FB
One of my seniors was on Facebook. It wasn't a big deal--it was only advisory, but still... "No one pinged you except your mom. Get off." I said. "Nah, Miss, I got seven replies." "Wow, how many of those 'friends' are related to you?" I'm going to miss these seniors....
Drive Thru Coffee’s Slow–Make It Driveby
I look at the clock on the odometer. I want to stop for coffee. The drive thru is right there, beckoning. It'll just take a minute. It's quicker if I run in. I look again. I'm already three minutes past my time--I'll have to make it up on the highway. Can I make up...