Why This Teacher Hates Gum

Gum is evil. It’s something I didn’t understand in my younger days. Now I do. I used to think gum was good. When kids’ mouths are closed, I teach, kids listen. I used to use Jolly Ranchers for this. I’d give loud kids two Jolly Ranchers each. I...

How to Escape America for $203 or Less

I haven’t traveled out of the country in a long time. So long that my passport has Soviet stamps on it. It’s old–extremely expired. I’ve been meaning to get a new one for a while. “Want to go on a trip?” said my friend. It was an...

Breaking News: Polar Vortex Swallows Teens

  “You there! In the shorts. Did you take my geography class? Didn’t I teach about climate? It is cold outside.” A balmy New England 12°. With a windchill of 150 below. Today was the first day I didn’t see teens in shorts. I was...