No Bathrooms in Times Square

No Bathrooms in Times Square

It’s New Year’s Eve, my least favorite holiday. I’m sitting on my couch in a seat marked “boring” drinking tea, trying to get the boy to stay in bed. He came out again with a Lego device. He said it could blow up the world. “Mom,...

How to Escape America for $203 or Less

I haven’t traveled out of the country in a long time. So long that my passport has Soviet stamps on it. It’s old–extremely expired. I’ve been meaning to get a new one for a while. “Want to go on a trip?” said my friend. It was an...

Using Chalk Outlines to Parallel Park in RI

I left the house early. My appointment was at 10, but traffic and parking can be a challenge. I found a spot about a half-mile from my destination–I have always objected to paying for parking if there is any alternative, and I hate parking garages. Not that I...

My Season of Obnoxious

Today’s Saturday. Dates and times are irrelevant to me for the next seven weeks until school starts. This is the time of year when you hate me. The time of year when I call you randomly, email you at all times, and disturb you at work. You get annoyed....

Coffee is Teacher Crack

  Coffee is teacher crack. I’m about to make 30 cups and line them up on the back of my desk. I don’t only double-fist cups of coffee, I “quad” them. This is a technique I saw once in college, where the individual rehydrating himself carried...