Paralyzed by Vacation

Paralyzed by Vacation

We spend days, no weeks, looking forward to school vacation. Students nearly refuse to work in the days leading up to it. “Miss, can I go watch a movie in Mrs. X’s class?” I look at him. He must be  insane. “Um, no, we’re doing our big...

I’m Terrible…by the Numbers

I woke from a nightmare. I was taking standardized tests. I bombed. I’m glad it was a dream. It’s standardized test season, a time that strikes more fear in the hearts of schools than a life-sized poster of the Bieber mug shot. Everyone’s defined by...

Paying the Idiot Fee

I just got a bill for fifty bucks. I had a leak in my boiler. As a rule, I don’t fix things that explode, flood, or have the potential to cause international incident. I’ll sheet rock a hole, patch, paint, lay flooring like a drunk Irishman, tile, and...

The Science of Dog Biscuits

My kid eats dog biscuits. I don’t encourage this. I’ve given up. “It’s the only meat I eat, Mom, it’s good for me.” I can’t control it. He gets out of bed or sneaks around when I’m not looking, stealing them from the...

What Would You LIKE to Learn?

I’m writing my “Welcome Letter” to students. It’s going to a blog post this year. I’m trying to save trees–it’s a pain in the ass to get more paper when I run out. I have to requisition paper just to make the forms to get the...