Bad Mom Ruins Elementary Christmas

I’m an urban secondary educator who’s moved out to the sticks. Although I grew up in a small town, Christmas changes from location to location. Things definitely aren’t the same in the city. I got Christmas all wrong. I knew I must get something for...

Paying the Idiot Fee

I just got a bill for fifty bucks. I had a leak in my boiler. As a rule, I don’t fix things that explode, flood, or have the potential to cause international incident. I’ll sheet rock a hole, patch, paint, lay flooring like a drunk Irishman, tile, and...

The Science of Dog Biscuits

My kid eats dog biscuits. I don’t encourage this. I’ve given up. “It’s the only meat I eat, Mom, it’s good for me.” I can’t control it. He gets out of bed or sneaks around when I’m not looking, stealing them from the...

Today, You’d Be a Sex Offender

I’m having a nice night with my husband. We’re sitting on the couch watching Grease, one of the best movies of all time. Couch movie watching is the pinnacle of good nights when you have a mutant six-year old who doesn’t go to sleep....

How to Be a Stalker

I’m about to teach a lesson about researching and connecting. Who wants to learn about researching? Exactly nobody. I survey my audience. Teenaged Facebook fiends drifting off into space. Think quick. We need excitement. The best theatre is performed...

I’m Not the Jesus of Education

I stand in front of my students. I say, “Listen, it’s your decision. Research it, make the call.” Blank stares. Pause. More blank stares. I explain. “I’m not the Jesus of education…I’m just a nerd. You need to interpret things...