Bad Parent Series: Things with Wheels Will Break Your Face

“I have some gifts for Declan. Ian doesn’t need them anymore.”  There were four things in the back of the car. A scooter, a skateboard, and a pogo stick–three things to make you fall on your face. The fourth thing, a pitchback, will hit you in...

Yoga for Moms

I mentioned before that my son can detect the presence of or intent to do yoga. He is psychic. But today, he was watching a video. I give him way too much TV when I want to selfishly mediate or practice yoga. It never works. Usually, he pounces quickly....

I Need Gandhi: Little Boys and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Give a boy an object and he’ll make a weapon of mass destruction. Every time. My son is six. I’ve watched this phenomena brewing for some time. I’m a Gandhi-loving pacifist. I never push gun toys on The Boy.  I don’t give him games that promote...

The Little Things: When Time Stands Still in America

It’s 5:30 AM. I’m sitting in the library of the Spruce Point Inn in Bar Harbor, Maine. Bar Harbor is a quaint, nautical village–I can hear the ebb and flow of the tide and the constant warning of the fog horn, as you do in New England nautical...

Electricity and First-World Conveniences

$187.74. The electricity bill. That’s pretty high. “Did you miss a payment?” Rusty asked. “No. I overpaid.” I pay random amounts and usually end up months ahead. Why? I don’t know. Bill ADHD. I try to get ahead of the months I know...

Thanks for Teaching Me to Gamble, Grandma

I’ve been playing cards for a very long time. My Irish grandmother taught me when I was about five, and I’m sitting down teaching Declan now that he’s reached the golden age himself. He’s not ready for poker–he doesn’t have a poker...