“The Admonishment”

My son got off the bus with a stern warning, “You can’t participate in those jokes,” said the monitor. She was very nice. Declan was listening to jokes, not telling them, she explained, but they have no place on the bus. I bet they were pirated from those teen-rated cartoon shows I’ve been trying to censor. Most people have smiling pictures of Kid Getting off Bus. Mine’s blurry. “The Admonishment” came out clear as day.

We all posted first day of school pictures–little public and private school uniforms, smiles, one family on a boat with no official first or last day of school sailing around the world with life as the teacher.

“Oh look, Johnny got a sticker.” Action shots on Facebook. “Ahhh, Suzie’s first chocolate milk” Ten more action shots. We keep posting.

The rest of you–you know who you are–must be sick of us.  Smiley photos of little people standing by busses holding pencil cases, over and over and over again.

I feel for you…you retaliate with pet photos, but this backfires, because some of us have kids and pets. We simply figure you want to see more “cute” and post Fido and Kid.

“WHO CARES that your kid got a yellow belt, pitched a no-hitter, won the Olympics, will be valedictorian in 12 years, just got seed funding at age six or cured cancer?” you say. “Fifty Facebook pictures of him a day is enough!” 

I try to be objective like the BBC. I post the good the bad and the ugly. When Declan learns to read fluently and discovers I’ve been writing this stuff, I might be an empty-nester sooner than I planned. This is good for you–you won’t be plagued with photos of Kid Standing By Bus. Instead, you’ll be reading his blog entitled “Insane Mom.” It’ll be a new game altogether. Stay tuned.